FSM in the news

Nice write up about the FSM movement....

Ohio: No Strippers Allowed!

This is one that has been on my back burner for some time. For those of us who choose to willingly live in Ohio, despite its right-leaning ways and infirmed job market, we also recently were introduced to a law allowing concealed weapons, and now the new law banning lap dances. Yes, LAP DANCES. Not only that, but if you can't be within 6 feet of a dancer or touch them in any way. This could land both of you in jail.

Be assured, my strip club visiting days are pretty much over. I'm happily married with kids, so I am lucky to go to an R rated movie. Regardless, once again we are policing fucking morality and personal pleasure. Strip clubs are FUN. So is drinking beer, watching sports, getting laid, smoking a cigarette, hitting a bong, and punching random people in the face.

Okay, you get the picture. Drinking beer is super risky, but legal. Getting laid, super risky, legal. Smoking a cigarette, legal and deadly... just getting expensive. Hitting a bong, illegal and mostly harmless. Punching random people in the face, that one makes sense... illegal and hurts others. Getting a lap dance... HARMLESS. No pregnancy, no disease, supports young women (or men for that matter).

Regardless of the arguments of objectifying of women or potential crime influences, stripping (like prostitution or marijuana use) is a personal pleasure. Period, end of fucking story. Coming soon to Ohio... women can not cut men's hair. Young women should not be shampooing men's hair, it is too personal and requires gently caressing their scalps... after which the man pays the woman!

Ridiculous, but the best analogy I had at this time of night. I usually do better. It will be okay... see you strippers at the grocery when your bagging my groceries!

Go to this site: http://votenoonissue1.com/

Secular Scholarships and Grants

One of my brilliant ideas that I will work towards some day, is to create a good resource for secular students to receive college funds. Here is a good resource for anyone looking.

This is the kind of effort that needs more attention. Whenever I hear about Christian colleges it makes me cringe that a liberal education will be laced with references to mythical creatures.

So anyway, I will also include the link in my permanent link list.

God's Customer Complaint Center

Click here to address all deity related issues.

Be Blessed

The long open aisles of Wal-Mart are a good place to find yourself crawling around on a shiny cement floor. A good place to be on your back, struggling to reach the giant pink pacifier that your 20 month old daughter has violently hurled in anger. And it is then, in your moment of weakness, that you find yourself "blessed".

The guy obviously had some kind of righteous, good intentions. He made a joke under the assumption that the baby was angry because mommy had walked away, and not because she did not like me taking her new booster seat away to run a price scan (under orders). So that was fine. He couldn't have known.

A few minutes later, taking the turn around the vegetable aisle, I am caught off guard by the same voice jesting in our direction.

"Hey, she must have got what she needed (mom)! Stay strong... be blessed!"

I really don't want to be blessed. He said it almost as if it were a command. I wondered if maybe he was a pastor, and it was some pro bono work he was doing while shopping. Why should I be blessed? Because my daughter was being a fussy brat? Because he thought I needed it? It really makes you open your eyes when you decide that your are sure enough in your beliefs that you are an atheist. You start to hear things differently...

• bless you
• be blessed
• via con dios
• god dammit
• Jesus!
• jumping Jesus Christ on a pogo stick!
  

Well, you get the idea. It all makes the assumption that we live in a Christian nation, and we all subscribe to those beliefs and worship those gods. I didn't want anyone to fucking bless me today. It really just comes across as pretentious and self-righteous. It pains me to hear those things. It is something I will live with, and allow others to exercise their first amendment rights. I just hope they remember those rights when I slip up and tell one of them to stuff their blessing up their ass.

I know this reads as hateful, but sometimes that is how it feels. Sometimes I think, "Wow! Thanks dude! You just blessed me for nothing! I can do anything I want!" But mostly, I just think, "shut up."

GO BUCKS

Yes... I am a Buckeye fan. I am an alum of The Ohio State University. I am one of those guys. I received my liberal arts degree in psychology from one of the best public universities in the world. I am proud of that and our bad-ass football team. I used to look down on die hard fans, but I have given in. It's fun, and we have the best rivalry in the land with Michigan.

OSU: 14 UM: 3

So what if Illinois stomped us last week... Big Ten Champions. Rose Bowl bound.

Oh... and I hate Jesus. Hah! Just kidding. I have nothing against that guy. He was a real subversive revolutionary. Probably gay, or at least didn't much care for women. Hung out with dudes judging everybody. Wore sandals and robes all day long. Not a bad guy really. Probably a bit of a con artist, what with all his "magic".

I just hate that people follow blindly... anyone or anything. Question authority, help society evolve. That's all for now!

Nova's Great ID v Evolution Special

I have nothing more to say now other than how amazing last night's Nova was. Please click on the link, and please watch the show.

If you do not know what this is, it is the story of the trial in Dover, Pennsylvania a few years back when the Dover school board required students be told that evolution is "only a theory". The show does a beautiful job of telling a fair account of both sides (yes, BOTH sides), and really exposes the relentless efforts of creationists to put religion back in school.

The website is full of great links and even contains the entire court transcript for the trial. This is a very important documentary. It should be shown in schools. It needs a bigger audience than the already science savvy Nova crowd. Spread the word. Probably the best introduction to modern evolutionary theory and findings anyone could ask for.

Peel back the onion

So, I finally started to reveal some indication of who I am, and what I look like. So my profile shows one of the more sober pictures of me from a Halloween party doing my best Hunter S. Thompson. The party was a furious drunken blast... and I remember large parts of it, which is sometimes a good thing. My wife was looking evil as some kind of zombie red-riding hood (packaged and sold as "Little Dead Riding Hood", available at your local Wal-Mart). We had a real good time, and a fair number of people actually knew who I was trying to be, thanks Johnny Depp. Other popular guesses:

• DeNiro from Cape Fear
• Panama Jack
• Some tourist
• Johnny Depp from "Blow" (some credit for being confused but close)
• Some asshole

I polished off a fifth of Gentleman Jack within my first hour or so there, on the rocks. Great way to start a great evening. And yes, my friend's house has a stripper pole. Guaranteed to attract drunks.