Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ohio: No Strippers Allowed!

This is one that has been on my back burner for some time. For those of us who choose to willingly live in Ohio, despite its right-leaning ways and infirmed job market, we also recently were introduced to a law allowing concealed weapons, and now the new law banning lap dances. Yes, LAP DANCES. Not only that, but if you can't be within 6 feet of a dancer or touch them in any way. This could land both of you in jail.

Be assured, my strip club visiting days are pretty much over. I'm happily married with kids, so I am lucky to go to an R rated movie. Regardless, once again we are policing fucking morality and personal pleasure. Strip clubs are FUN. So is drinking beer, watching sports, getting laid, smoking a cigarette, hitting a bong, and punching random people in the face.

Okay, you get the picture. Drinking beer is super risky, but legal. Getting laid, super risky, legal. Smoking a cigarette, legal and deadly... just getting expensive. Hitting a bong, illegal and mostly harmless. Punching random people in the face, that one makes sense... illegal and hurts others. Getting a lap dance... HARMLESS. No pregnancy, no disease, supports young women (or men for that matter).

Regardless of the arguments of objectifying of women or potential crime influences, stripping (like prostitution or marijuana use) is a personal pleasure. Period, end of fucking story. Coming soon to Ohio... women can not cut men's hair. Young women should not be shampooing men's hair, it is too personal and requires gently caressing their scalps... after which the man pays the woman!

Ridiculous, but the best analogy I had at this time of night. I usually do better. It will be okay... see you strippers at the grocery when your bagging my groceries!

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1 comment:

vjack said...

Perhaps these Christian extremists should just get it over with and ban fun itself.