Thursday, December 6, 2007

Enjoy the fight...

As I was posting on vjack's site a few minutes ago, I realized something about what made me determine myself to be an atheist and what makes it all so fun to me. It is the fight... the thrill of the hunt.

In high school, I realized how much I did not think like everyone else. Some of it was upbringing, but I know a lot of it was genetics. Regardless of why, I enjoyed being witty, smart, funny, and weird. The first time I was caught drawing symbols of heavy metal bands on my Trapper Keeper by some female friends, their response was priceless. They were honestly concerned that I may have problems and that I may worship the devil. Needless to say, I let them run with that. It was too good to be true, they actually felt sorry for me!

Without going on and on, it basically took off from there. I would regularly engage people in conversation playing only devil's advocate, while taking comfort in my own spin on Christian belief. Over time, I read more and more about the foundations of religion and ancient religions. Then came my infatuation with the cosmos and quantum physics (among other basic space and sub-atomic physics).

That finally did it. God flew out the window quicker than the Tooth Fairy after giving a kid a nickel for a molar. Luckily for me, some of my friends came to this conclusion around the same time as I did. Our new past time was out loud public blasphemy. At first it was for shock value, to see how far we could push it. Then it was uncontrollable, like we could not help blurting out exactly what we had to say. Finally, it was irrelevant. It barely ever got a reaction any more. Were people afraid of saying anything? We certainly gave them every reason to.

Now, I hold my opinions like a sword inside of a cane. I don't stick out, but I instill doubt. I am a voice of skepticism and reason, playing devil's advocate and not believing in him. This is what makes it all fun. The game is afoot...

1 comment:

vjack said...

Man, it sounds like we have a lot in common. Reading about you drawing metal symbols on your folders, being accused of Satanism, and going with it for fun was eerie because I did exactly the same thing. The only difference was that I got a little carried away with the act and ended up making several of the fundies afraid of me. Ah, those were the days!

I know what you mean about enjoying the fight. I wouldn't say that is my primary motive, but it is certainly one of them.